The importance of discussing our funeral wishes
Talking about funerals is never easy.
For many people, it is a conversation they avoid for as long as possible. Yet discussing funeral wishes openly with loved ones can be one of the most important and thoughtful things a person does for their family.
At A.J. Sellman Family Funeral Directors, Ed and Ralph have supported generations of families through some of life’s most difficult moments. Time and time again, we see how comforting it can be when families already understand the wishes of the person who has died — whether that is for a traditional funeral, a simple service, music choices, burial or cremation, or simply how they wanted to be remembered.
These conversations remove uncertainty and help families feel confident they are making the right decisions during an emotional and overwhelming time.
The Shock Many Families Experience
In recent years, online direct cremation providers have become increasingly common. Their advertising often focuses on low cost and simplicity, and for some families this may feel like the right option.
However, many families are shocked to discover what these arrangements can actually involve.
One of the most difficult moments can come when relatives realise they cannot visit their loved one in a chapel of rest. With some online providers, there may be no local premises to visit at all. The person who has died may be taken to a regional facility many miles away, making personal visits impossible.
Families often tell us they had assumed they would still have the opportunity to spend time with their loved one, say goodbye privately, or bring close relatives to visit — only to discover later that this is not part of the service they selected.
When grief is fresh, these realisations can be deeply upsetting.
Saying Goodbye in a Personal Way
At A.J. Sellman, Ed and Ralph believe every farewell should reflect the life, personality, and wishes of the individual.
There is no “one-size-fits-all” funeral.
Some families want a quiet and intimate service. Others want a full church funeral, a colourful celebration of life, favourite music, special readings, horse-drawn carriages, family tributes, or personal touches that truly reflect the person they love.
Most importantly, families deserve the opportunity to say goodbye in the way that feels right to them.
Having access to a local chapel of rest, meeting face to face with us to arrange the service and knowing your loved one is cared for within your own community can bring enormous comfort during grief.
Ed and Ralph take time to listen carefully to families, guide them through the choices available, and help create a funeral that feels personal, meaningful, and dignified.
Funeral Plans and Policies Can Be Reviewed
Many people are also unaware that funeral plans or policies arranged with online providers can often be reviewed — and in some cases cancelled or transferred.
Families sometimes feel locked into arrangements they are no longer comfortable with after learning more about the services involved.
It is important to understand exactly what any funeral plan includes:
Will your loved one remain locally?
Can family visit them in a chapel of rest?
Is there a funeral service included?
Will you deal with a dedicated funeral director personally?
Are there restrictions on times, locations, or attendance?
Taking time to review these details now can help avoid distress later.
At A.J. Sellman Family Funeral Directors, Ed and Ralph are always happy to speak openly about the options available and explain the differences between local personalised funeral care and large-scale online direct cremation services.
Planning Ahead Gives Families Peace of Mind
Discussing funeral wishes is not about dwelling on death. It is about giving clarity, reassurance, and peace of mind to the people we love most.
When families understand someone’s wishes, difficult decisions become easier. There is less uncertainty, less worry, and greater confidence that the farewell truly reflects the life being remembered.
Most of all, it allows families to focus on what matters most — supporting one another, sharing memories, and saying goodbye with love, dignity, and personal care